One sunny day in the happy forest next to my garage, I was having a glorious 17th birthday party. We were all having a grand time with our excellent name brand beverages when there was an evil flash of brilliant light. Everyone was unnerved with the prophecy of something super-evil lingering in the joyous air, everyone that is except for lil’ Isaac…
All of a sudden my lil’ pal Isaac said “Dude’s check these threads, I got a dope new Korn shirt!”
After thoroughly “checking his threads,” we all realized to our horror that Isaac was severely stoned out of his mind.
“Look everyone, lil’ Isaac is stoned out of your mind,” I shouted in dismay.
Before we knew what was happening ninja stars and third Reich vegetables started flying. I looked up to the eclipsing moon to realize the union of future democrats had sprung up with a clatter and were pelting lil’ Isaac with various nutritional snacks, of the evil variety.
“Look everyone, the Union of Future Democrats is pelting Isaac with nutritional non-dairy treats, that are part of an everyday balanced meal,” I shouted informatively in dismay.
My cries were in vain, for by now the Union had taken off lil’ Isaac’s head completely, with a deadly tomato that could have only been thrown by our arch-nemesis Dr. Clautzinstein
“My stars, Isaac has lost his head,” I screamed in southern dismay.
Everyone ran in shrieking circles, trying to find lil’ Isaac’s head which had vanished in the commotion, all the while to our infantile ignorance we were spreading Isaac’s internal goo around the happy animal fun fest Jungle next to my garage.
Until Jana slipped in the goo, sealing her fate.
“Look everyone, Jana slipped in the goo sealing her eternal fate,” I screamed prophetically in dismay.
They say you can still see her sliding around today in that evil non-stoppable slid-o-rama goo of death. They even sell postcards at her latest sighting, Pueblo Texas.
Well, after Jana slid to her doom we had had just about enough of this lil’ Isaac body lying around making people slid in his goo for all eternity, so we put him in the Jacuzzi.
then we used our bottoms and began grinding, and grinding and grinding…
until we had a nice warm Jacuzzi of Isaac’s innards, of course we threw out his rib cage and used that as a platter to serve the Birthday Cake on.
After the grinding had finalized we invited the Democratic Union down from the roof for cake and a heavenly dip in the pool, it was the best birthday ever! and everyone lived happily ever after.